Sapporo Ichiban

I am finally embarking on a long awaited trip very soon. In my uncontainable excitement, it’s all I seem to be thinking about lately. So for brunch, I souped (pun intended) up my favorite instant ramen noodles. Though it should suffice for now, I cannot wait to taste the real deal.

From where I stand

I will always remember our first apartment for its beautiful view. I hope I never take it for granted. I am quiet by nature, and still to me, sunsets are one of those rare things that leave me wordless. Pictures, however, no matter how effectively captured cannot replace the feeling that overwhelms me only in the presence of the sun setting in the horizon. What a wonderful gift from God.

Antipasto

I love trying new food and new combinations of it. Thank the food channel, food blogs and instagram for perpetually keeping me salivating. Never in a million years would have I thought to eat deli meat without sliced bread, moreso with fruit. But brie, melons, figs, Spanish cured meats (chorizo, cantimpalo, serrano)—together on a plate, united and it tastes soo good. Not sure if it’s healthy, but there’s fruit in there.

Groceries 02

Time for another groceries run down. On the topic, have you ever watched Supermarket Sweep on the retro game show channel? The best for shits and giggles, and munchies at that. Eighties fashion galore, too. Anyways, Tuesday night we finally checked out the Mexican joint in our neighbourhood called Mariachi’s. I had the enchiladas with rice and salad and it was really good so I’m going to try and make some for dinner tonight. I have been looking for canned baby mandarins with no such luck. When I used to work at McDonald’s, they had a paint can size one used for salads. So when I saw these Dole packaged ones, I picked them up even though they cost $4. I was also feeling fancy and picked up antipasto deli meat to eat with figs and goat brie. A bottle of moscato would be even better. But figs, I’ve only started eating them this year. They’re sweet, bite sized, and a bit grainy but I like em. They are mentioned a lot in the Bible. And I have a fig scented candle that smells amazing, though the fruit didn’t smell like the candle one bit.

Clockwise from top: preserved baby mandarins, antipasto cured meats, shredded cheese, tortillas, Mexican chili powder, fresh figs, peeled garlic cloves, green bell pepper, white onions

things on the wall

I've always admired pictures of pictures on a wall, but have always been adverse to putting up stuff on my own wall thinking it will be an eyesore. Well adversity be damned and yay to things cliche and tacky. Following are the random stuff I've put up so far. Prints from tumblr, collages and paintings I painted.

that time i made oxtail

Next to sushi, my second favorite thing to eat is probably jerk chicken. There is a place downtown called The Ritz, which despite the name is actually one of those hole in the wall gems. Their lunch special which is chicken (jerk, bbq or fried), rice and peas and coleslaw is killer. Not to mention it is only $4.99 before 3pm. And I love, love, love how they ladle oxtail stew gravy on the rice. I have never ordered oxtail stew there before, but the gravy is amazing. I suppose I am the type to order the same thing all the time if I really like it so jerk chicken it always is. But I was feeling adventurous and was too excited to find browning sauce at the drug store (of all places) on the corner. So I made some one day, and will make some for dinner tonight. MY STOMACH IS SMILING =) Nothing like comfort food when on your period.

on feeling inadequate

ever since i was a teenager, i have developed the most terrible self-destructive habit of living life vicariously through other people via internet. i suppose it doesn't help that i have always been a loner. ironically, i am probably not alone in my circumstance, but it is depressing nonetheless. i have always envied people with better clothes, nicer bodies, prettier faces, richer parents, more friends, supportive boyfriends, closer siblings; optimistic, motivated and successful people with amazing personalities. in short, people with better lives (or any life at all) than me.

sometimes i feel as if by blood, i am fated to this doomed attitude towards life. i try to avoid feeling this way, and try to be thankful often, but there come points when i have to sit myself down and get my shit together.

i think my ultimate weakness is low self-esteem (ie. low confidence, feeling inadequate, wallowing in self-pity, inability to persevere). and with low self-esteem comes sloth, paralyzing laziness and cowardice to try, to do, to live, to not be afraid of change, of pain, of hurt, of rejection, of getting in trouble, of truly learning that life goes on. to not be afraid of everything, but instead be courageous, however stupid.

there is no one to blame but myself. because i, alone, made my choices, and i, alone, will make my decisions. i am responsible for my actions and its consequences. i am the CEO of my life, and right now my company is nearing bankrupt (figuratively and literally), but i have hope...

i refer to this quote every now and then, and each time i find a different meaning.

“The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. No, not at all. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be.”